to links page


In October of 2000 I became an ex-devotee after being a devotee since the mid 1970s. In September I had a most amazing prophetic dream about the one I now call “the false god.”

First a little background about myself. I am now retired after working in various California public schools as a teacher, administrator, and director of Independent Studies. In the middle 1970's after reading that “great classic” The Holy Man and the Psychiatrist, my wife and I helped to start a local Sai Baba Center. Although we never held office, we were faithful both to the principles and the meetings until we moved to our new home after retirement. Here we hosted the local center in our home for one year before a dispute (over what language we should sing in) ended with the local president removing the center from our home without any vote of the membership. (How hurt we felt at the time, and how fortunate we were in retrospect to have the center taken out of our home!)

In 1997 My wife and I traveled to India. That we my first trip, but my wife’s second. I came back with the feeling that my place was in Christianity (not the fundamentalist type). Also I came back feeling disillusioned about the ashram--its corruption and the feeling that it completely lacked an atmosphere of love. A second trip two years later in 1999 reenforced my first feelings. While in India I felt comfortable doing puja in the temples, but felt Christianity was my true path. Also I really questioned the inconsistencies in the life at the ashram, and the inconsistences in the teaching of Sai Baba. Still I was willing to accept these discrepancies as “how can we know that ways of God?” That trip also brought some real spiritual experiences. One of them was at the ashram, but in the middle of the night in my room and not during darshan.


In mid-September a friend gave me an Internet address where I could read the Conny Larsson story. I checked out the site, but immediately rejected it as an attempt to defame Sai Baba. About a week later in the middle of the night, I had what is probably the most intense dream of my life:

My wife and I were hosting a special sb event in our home where sb was going to be present. There was a large crowd of devotees and non-devotees. SB came in, but instead of speaking or doing miracles, he started to swear, curse, and use obscene language. He snatched dishes off the table and smashed them against the wall. After trashing dishes and lamps and any other object he could find, he violently started to overturn chairs and began slapping and spitting on the people in the room.

We all looked on in utter amazement, unable to believe what was happening.

That part of the dream faded, and I was sitting on a desolate mountain top. I heard millions of voices wailing, moaning, weeping, and crying out in utter despair. Somehow I knew they were sb devotees. The voices were not mouthing words, but I knew their thoughts:

“We are betrayed, we have been mislead, everything is lost, there is no hope!!

Needless to say, the rest of the night for me was lost. It was without a doubt the worse night of my life. The despair was not especially for me, but for those lost devotees who knew or who would know in the future that they had been betrayed by one whom they had built their lives around. I told my wife only in general terms that I had a terrifying dream, and that millions of voices were crying out. I could not say any more, for she was a long-time devotee. When I first woke from the dream, I was confused about the meaning of the dream, but not about the evil aura of sb. By morning (thinking about a few clues in my life), I knew that in some way sb was deceiving all of us.

About a week after this dream, I made a trip to the San Francisco bay area and stayed with good friends. They had been active in the local center, and the man had been the center president. We spent many hours discussing their decision to leave the movement. We talked about the information they had during the previous months. They had received a copy of the letter written by the 15 year old California boy, but had immediately burned the letter, thinking it vulgar and false. But they slowly came around when confronted with more of the expose information. During this visit everything became very clear to me. Shortly afterward my wife and I became vocal ex-devotees, and now want to do all we can to bring the truth to light.

I wonder now if my dream was precognitive of events still to happen in the future. Will there be an event that no one can deny, that will make it crystal clear who and what sb, the false god, really is?

William Weed

Retired teacher and administrator