07-03-2001 11:33 AM ET (US)

Dear all,

Some of you received a copy of the handwritten journal of the California boy who was 15 years old when sexually molested by Sai Baba in September 1999. The boy personally copied his original journal to four pages of paper, and copies of these four pages were distributed. A photocopy of the journal, in the boy's handwriting, is now on a dutch website: http://www.exbaba.nl/ First click on Gertugen, then #5, and finally paginar 1, 2, 3, or 4.

A very IMPORTANT POINT, not commonly known ,was that it was common for the boy to keep a daily journal. In fact, he or his family had published about a 30 page pamphlet of his works. It was especially customary for the boy to write a daily journal as the family traveled, including places visited in India.

The mother wrote a short cover letter sent out with the four-page journal .In the letter she says, "If you wish to reprint the testimony, please do so." One paragraph of the cover letter is below:

"After you have read my son's testimony, (he is 15 years old) you will probably be devastated. This is not an hour of glory, but an hour of truth. Please let the truth be known that Sai Baba is not what he claims to be. Truth has to prevail. Please stand tall, every one of you. Once we know the truth, we cannot stay silent. We have to speak up."

I believe that it may be past time to discuss this important matter. Furthermore, the copying of the journal on my next four posts will hopefully make it easier to read.

Love, MarsWalker108



Monday September 20, 1999 Interview #1

After he called me, I went on the veradah, and motioned to mom. She came, and we sat down. After a while, I realized that Papa had not followed me. I got up and went back to look on the men's side. I examined the crowd, Baba even passed right in front of me as I searched. I didn’t see Papa. I quickly went back to the verandah and sat down. Swami came.

"Where is your father?" -I couldn't find him. "GO!" I went to look again. I stayed there as long as I could hoping Papa would see me; when I realized that people were soon going into the interview room, I came back.

Inside, a lady asked:) Please, Baba, can, can I have a chair? (Baba went into the private, inner room) "Come here, boy." (I went inside and while gently pressing and rubbing on my groin with the back of his hand, he said:) "Here is the chair. Take one chair." (In the outer room, he sat down.)

"Where is your father?" I looked all over for him. ( he glared at me.) "Lazy. 'Lazy boy!" "And Mother?" -there. (to mom, asked:)

"How is this boy? He is not studying well. eating, (with hand motion) goes round, round, round." (He got up, & gave me a long, fierce look.) "Don't do like this!"

(He took the Italian group into the private room. When finished with them, he said to mom:) "come on." (I started getting up,) "not you." (After less than a minute, they came out.) "come on this boy." (Inside he took me into the corner.) "look here, you are a good boy. But, (pointing with his thumb to the other room) sometimes, with her..." "Sometimes you are not having good thoughts, good ideas. You don't study well. not good memory. I will give you good memory." (He started to wave his hand in circles, and sddenly, - stopped.With apprehension I thought he had changed his mind. I was relieved when he continured waving, When he turned his hand up, there was nothing in his palm. then I saw his finger shimmering .He was slipperily rubbing thim together.) "Oil," he said. "Open." (He started lifting my shirt; I lifted it up, thinking he wanted to rub it on my navel. then, with his left hand, [his right was full of oil,] he motioned down wards with his fingers. I understood. I untied my pants. He lifted my penis, put his fingers at the base of it, and started rubbing the oil into me. It did'nt hurt, but he was making a motion as if he was pinching me there repeatedly with his fingers.

He stopped, and waved his hand again. I guess he made some more oil. He resumed rubbing.With his other hand, he drew me close. He rubbed some more, and drew me closer. I could hear him murmuring some things, so I turned my ear towards him so I could catch what he was saying .He again pulled me tighter towards him, this time by the waist, until my crotch was right by the side of his leg, and our chests were almost touching. I had my chin on his right shoulder, both arms around him, his hair touching the side of my face, the front of my pants down. It was so bazarre. I could now feel him pulling the base of my penis back and forth. It felt kind of good. He finally let me go, and I pulled my pants up.) (He looked at me and said:) "Don't tell anyone. Don't tell Mother. she worries. Tomorrow and the next day, I will give interview. I will give, (he traced his finger on my chest,) a chain."

Thursday September 23, 1999 Interview #2

After asking me whether both of my parents were present, he took my letter and told me to GO. I waved to Papa and walked to verandah. Mom had seen me get up. She met me on the porch. Papa came and sat next to me. when Baba arrived, he shook his hand at mom telling her to go away. She was slow to leave...

During the interview, while talking to Papa, he said about Mom: "She is a good lady; a good devotee."

He turned to me and asked: "what do you want?" -A chain. "A chain? or Swami?" - Swami! "Yes, (he pointed to his palm) what is here?" Your hand, swami. "NO,what is here?" (I took my guess) - the universe? "Is there nothing? or everything?" Everything! "good boy!" (he waved his hand, a metal watch came tumbling out.) "See? everything! what is the time?" (he looked at the clock) "Three-ten." (He set the watch, then pointed to my timex watch.) "this, no good! Plastic watch! take it off." (he replaced it with his, on my left wrist. It was way too big.) "Oh, small hand! take off two links."

He took Papa into the private room for a minute or so, then called me. Papa left. As soon as we got inside, he pulled me close, gave me a big hug, and started untuying my pants. He dropped them to the ground, then pulled my underwear below my butt. He grabbed my penis, and hugging me again, started masturbating the base of it. He kept repeating "Purification, Purification." I felt his other fingers grip around my crack and pull me closer, uptight.

I held him tight in return. He turned his right cheek to me, I kissed it, with his prompting. He turned his mouth towards me, I gave him my cheek. he turned my head and kissed me on the mouth for a long time. When he stopped, I started to pull up my pants. He made sure my shirt didn't get stuck in the knot, and straightened me out. He kept telling me: "This is good chance; good chance; Look, there are so many people outside. they all want to be here. It's your good luck." "Sometimes you are wasting money, sometimes mother doesn't give. there's no income." (He waved his hand and out popped six 500 rupee bills. He counted them. [Rs.3000]

"For food. spend it. keep it inside. inside!" (I put it in my wallet.) "Don't tell anyone!" even Mother? "Mother you can tell." and father? "not father." "I will give you good life, good future. I will keep you well, (he counted on his fingers) physically, mentally, financially. If you ever need money,.....-or dollars, come to me." thank you, Swami! "don't thank me. I am everything. See? (he ponted to his palm) everything is here!" "I am shivashakthi." what? shivashakthi. I am Shakthi."

Then he took my hand and pressed it to his crotch. he moved it up and down, side to side, there was absolutely nothing there. "See? Nothing! Nothing!" (He let go of my hand and snapped his fingers, then again took my hand.) "See? Now I am Shiva!" (this time, my fingers touched a penis.) "I will give Shivaroopa." what? "I will show shivaroopa." "take namaskar." (I went down and kissed his feet, then came up on my knees.) "Sparshan!" (He pressed my head to his penis. I put my cheek on it.) "Linganamaskar!" I kissed it. He lifted his robe higher and higher. I first saw his nuts. they were very dark colored. Then his penis. I saw a drop of liquid on the tip; he wiped it off with his thumb nail.) "Take it!" I held it. I kissed it. I could feel him pushing on my mouth. It opened slightly. it slipped inside. He subtly moved his hips back and forth enough times [7] that I lost count. He finally took it out, and I got up.

He kissed me on the mouth. He put his tongue out. I just barely opened my lips, but kept my teeth clenched. It slipped in between my lips and my teeth. I moved and he got saliva on my right cheek. We left the private room.

(He pointed to my steel bangle on my right arm.) "What is this?" I got it in Varanase. "Kashi? Varanase, second name Kashi.. Why do you wear this?" -I like it. "But swami makes nice things...-in gold! You don't like swami's things?" Yes, I do! (He waved his hand, and there was a gold bracelet, with three identical symbols on it. I started to take the bangle off.)

"No don't take it off." (he put the bracelet on me while saying: "Protection! Protection! this is trimurthi. (he pointed to each symbol) Brahma, Vishna, Shiva".(he again pointed to the bangle.) "See this one? It is cheap! You can get it anywhere. Even beggars wear it!" Should I take this one off, swami? "If you like it, you can keep it." [the bracelet he gave me is too small. It leaves painful marks in my skin and I can't wear it.]

(He took the Russian group inside; as they came out one by one, he stood by the door. As a particular young man passed, Baba pressed and vibrated the back of his hand on the man's groin, just as he did to me in the last interview of March 25, 1998 in Brindavan.)

(after he sat down, he asked me:) "What are you studying?" Homeschool & correspondence. "Home school?" Yes, I'm learning with my father & mother. "School is better!" Which school, swami? "Any school But if you're good, (with a slow smile,) my school!" When, swami? "Not now, in june." "Where are you staying? "the end of Samadhi road. "Outside? Why not inside?" Um, because we found a place outside. "Outside is no good. why not inside?" Because we don't have your permission. "Do you need swami's permission?"

"I will give another interview with father and mother. sit there, on the path, every day."

I certify that what I have written above is a truthful and accurate description of what happened in my two interviews with Sathya Sai Baba on Sept. 20 and Sept. 23, 1999 --N. C. May 1, 2000.

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