to links page
To: Former Devotees of Sathya Sai Baba
from Elena Hrrtgering
November 8, 2000
I am allowing this writing to be posted on the Internet with my name and e-mail address because I would like to begin a dialogue with former devotees and especially fellow professionals who have also left the Sai Baba cult. The time has come for me to heal my wounds and move on. I am seeking like-minded individuals who wish to share their process as well. Perhaps together we may discover methods that will help others who struggle to free themselves from cult learned behaviors. I will respond to all serious inquiries. I am saddened that many so-called defenders of Sai Baba have resorted to vile language and hate mail. I believe in the universal law that says, What goes around comes around. If you are inclined to send hate mail, please dont. I have already directed it back to you.
Last July, I read the Findings posted on the Internet by David and Faye Bailey. They reveal Sai Baba to be a fraud, charlatan, and worse, a pedophile. I have since read most of the Internet material on two different websites, as well as many testimonials from victims, a magazine article in NEXUS [an Australian publication] and the lengthy article published in The Daily Telegraph [one of the largest circulation newspapers in the UK] on October 28, 2000. I was a 20 year devotee of Sathya Sai Baba, but have since withdrawn from all Sai activities and organizations.
I am a licensed professional counselor. In my practice I work with victims of sexual abuse and incest. I recognized immediately the consistent theme in the stories told by young men from around the world who have come forward to describe their victimization by this man masquerading as God. Whether the victim is from Australia or Germany, Sweden or the U.S., Denmark, or the Netherlands, all described the same manner of sexual misconduct on the part of Sathya Sai Baba. There is also testimony from young men in my community who said they were inappropriately touched by Baba or knew others in their traveling parties who were. This is a major violation of trust, especially when one considers the power differential between a purported Avatar (God incarnate) and a youngster believing him to be God, therefore all good and all powerful. Not only were their bodies abused, their minds and spirits were violated as well.
It is very difficult for both genders to admit they have been victims of sexual assault. It is particularly difficult for young men and boys to acknowledge such vulnerability. Those who have come forward display a great deal of courage in their willingness to speak the unspeakable. When it comes to sexual abuse of children, I have found that those who have been abused and then recant, for the most part, do so out of fear of reprisal, or worse, coercion by their families. Sexual assault is so shocking that often a parents only emotional defense is denial.
How terrible it is for youngsters to be victims of a such an ugly crime and then to be disbelieved by the very people who are charged with their protection. Parental denial, in this case, the need for parents to take care of themselves instead of their children, victimizes the children further, and even worse, exonerates the perpetrator. These young men have nothing to gain by telling their stories in an international forum except perhaps the restoration of their personal power and integrity, their self respect, and the knowledge that their willingness to expose the pedophile may prevent other boys from enduring a similar violation.
As a licensed therapist, I am a mandatory reporter of suspected child abuse as are doctors, nurses, teachers, psychologists, social workers, school counselors, clergy, and others. As I began to come to terms with the truth of Sai Babas pedophilia, I asked myself the following questions: Can I justify to the state licensing authority my worship of, and blind loyalty to, a guru in India who claims to be God on the one hand, and stands publicly accused by victims around the world of pedophilia? How do I justify the Baba organizations efforts to suppress these accusations, when I am obligated by law to report them?
My journey to Baba started early in life. As a child I did not find God in the Christian faith of my family. Talk of God was there, but His spirit was absent. By the time I was 18 I had tried three different denominations. Disillusioned, I declared myself an atheist and gave up on religion, spirituality and God for 20 years. When I was in my late 30's (the year was 1978) I took a philosophy course at my local community college and my professor, a former Jesuit, introduced me to Sai Baba. He was an honest man, an educated man, and a wise man. If he believed that Sai Baba was a divine incarnation, I was willing to take a look.
I read and believed the testimonials of Howard Murphet, an Australian author, Dr. Jack Hislop, president of the Sai Organization of the Americas, Phyllis Krystal, a psychotherapist, Dr. Samuel Sandweiss, a psychiatrist, Dr. Kasturi, Babas official interpreter, and many others. These were, in my mind, very credible people. I relied on Sais representations, I have not come to start a new religion and Where money is I am not. I applauded his Ceiling on Desires program and the Education in Human Values program, when it came into being. Sai Baba is very godly in his demeanor. I made 3 trips to India, in 1985, 1995, and 1996. We were scheduled to go again in January, 2001. I was mesmerized by him and believed he could do no wrong. He was, after all, God incarnate.
I was writing a book, with seven chapters completed, about Baba, my spiritual journey and its compatibility with the practice of psycho/spiritual therapy. My husband and I were serving on committees organizing the Sathya Sai School in West Hartford, CT and the Sathya Sai summer camp in Woodstock, CT. I have also been a workshop facilitator at the regional retreats, and numerous meditation retreats held in our region. Both of us have been officers in our local Sai Center several times; I was vice-president before my resignation in July, 2000.
Dr. Goldstein and other officials in the organization are suppressing information, and attacking former devotees who have testified against Sai Baba. There is, for example, a letter from a woman in California which was sent to all Center presidents. In our center it was suppressed by the president and devotions coordinator because they were told to do so by the regional president. In the US freedom of speech and access to information are rights protected by law. This material cannot be suppressed. People will eventually find out as we did and then feel doubly betrayed; first by Sai, and then by the organization and our fellow devotees. Sai devotees resent the organization being labeled a cult, yet these are clearly cult practices and mind control techniques.
Since we first saw the information on the Internet, we have talked to three different mental health professionals. In three separate conversations, they identified the cult practices, mind control, and brainwashing techniques. These are truths we could no longer deny.
It is troubling that neither Sai Baba himself nor the officials who head up the organization are willing to confront the accusations. If he and the organization have nothing to hide, then the accusations should be confronted directly, rather than with rehashed accounts of Sais miracles and divinity, and being told to rely only on ones own experience. When people start thinking independently, these stories lose their impact. All the miracle stories have now become suspect and are being seriously questioned by growing numbers of people. Ultimately, suppression is the poorest of tactics, because at the least it indicates something to hide, and at worst, it is viewed as an admission of guilt.
Saying Sai predicted this in advance -- soon many devotees will fall away -- is irrelevant. This predication resulted from his realization that the information on the Internet would be disseminated widely. It appears to be a lame attempt to save face. Instructions to stay off the Internet simply arouses more curiosity among most people. Eventually this tactic wont work, except for those who are not able or willing to think for themselves.
Indeed, postings on the Internet should be considered carefully, but the Internet is not the problem here. The problem is Sai Babas behavior.
No one is denying he touches male genitals. Knowledge about this is so widespread it cannot be denied without the organization losing total credibility. People delude themselves with comments like, He is God, he has no sexual intent or Boys need to be tamed in that regard or It is a therapeutic touch, like a doctor. How can a rational human being believe this? Obviously the boys who have come forward with their tragic stories arent accepting these explanations. How can we? As one psychologist said to us, There is never any reason to touch genitals, outside of the requirements of a medical exam or established ritual, such as circumcision. It is degrading, humiliating, and a violation of the sanctity and privacy of ones body. The touching of genitals has only one intent, and that is sexual. If Sai Baba is indeed God, he has no need to touch genitals, which he has been doing for decades.
It was the multiple testimony of sexual abuse of boys and young men that turned me away from Baba. There is no conspiracy here, as some have claimed; these people are from many different countries. My decision was reinforced by accusations of fake materializations (which I have since seen on a video tape), the misuse of money, and even murder. The accusations should be examined carefully in the Sai centers, not lost in suppression or in clouds of blind devotion. It is also interesting to note that videotapes have not been sold in the Sai Baba bookstore [Tustin, California] for years. Is it because videotapes clearly show Babas sleight of hand in making vibuthi [holy ash]?
God is Truth and Light. Eventually darkness is dispelled and Truth is known to all. One thing I know with certainty: the evil of sexual abuse of children flourishes in secrecy, denial, and collusion by those in authority with the child molester. They often are family members wishing to avoid shame. Many are guilty here, not just Sai Baba. Who is willing to speak out against this evil? Who speaks for the children? Has anyone asked the boys who were touched and/or sexually assaulted by Baba if it was OK with them? Have they been healed, or their sexuality tamed?
I was not injured personally by Baba. Indeed, my study of God and cosmology intensified and I have grown in my spirituality. However, now knowing the truth, I cannot credit Baba with either creating these teachings or my spiritual growth. When one prays with a pure heart, God answers.
Baba is not God, but there is a God in this universe who responds to our prayers. What Baba teaches is the perennial philosophy which can be found in the Vedas, Upanishads, Bible, Koran and other holy scripture. He has led us to believe that quotes from the Bhagavad-Gita, Gandhi, Buddha, Jesus, Narada, and many of the sages and saints of India are original to him.
I dont know if Baba originated anything. The teachings are good. It is unfortunate the teacher could not lead by example, and live up to the human values he espoused. His actions now speak so loudly I can no longer hear his words.
Even on the first day of discovering my chosen god form was a fraud and a criminal, an overwhelming sense of relief overshadowed my sorrow. Now I understand why. I am relieved to have come out of the darkness into the light. From untruth, lead us to Truth, from darkness, lead us to Light. I am relieved to have found the God of the Universe who resides in our hearts. I am so relieved to be free again. I pray we all soon discover that the abode of supreme peace is as near to us as the beating of our own hearts.
Elena A. Hartgering