Letter 26, May 5th, 2005

Dear Fam,

I'm in Newala today and tomorrow trying to get the housing situation figured out for two new volunteers that are supposed to becoming here mid-August. I learn something new about all of the different "systems" and how to work with the local government everyday. The contract Peace Corps has with the Tanzanian government provides that TZ will supply a house and a working environment and PC will supply the volunteer. Those agreements don't seem to be passed down to the local governments though that never really see any extra money that is needed to supply that housing lately. Peace Corps has ended up supplementing a lot of the renovations for these houses - especially with the old environmental and new health programs. Education does alright though as they are connected to schools, which generally provide housing to the majority of their teachers anyhow........So it's been quite an adventure, talking with the District Director, District Engineers and other "important" people. While it's been incredibly tiring and we may have to actually scrap one site due to lack of appropriate housing. I've actually enjoyed the experience immensely. I am now learning so much about how to negotiate, be diplomatic and assessment, it's amazing. I have always thought of myself as a fairly organized and administration savvy person, but I really didn't have a clue that previously I had been skimming the surface of all there is to it. While I learned a lot my first two years here, what I enjoyed most were my day to day interaction with the people I worked with ( especially my students!). This year I feel I am constantly learning new things each hour. Best of all - I am finally starting to develop a backbone and learn how to say NO or insist upon something being done right. There's a strange balance involved in all of it.

In the midst of becoming someone fairly important (at least in the smallest scale of things) I've also had the opportunity to go back to my kijiji (Village) roots this past week. Newala and Masasi are fairly sizeable towns, but feel so much smaller in comparison to Mtwara (or M-Town as the local ex-pats like to call it for some strange reason). I was amazed as I walked through the market in Masasi a few days ago (en route to Newala) how many people recognized and remembered me by name and had noticed I hadn't been around in months asking me where I'd been - even the bus drivers wanted to know if I'd been transferred from Ndwika or what. It gave me a very nice sense of belonging even though Masasi isn't my base town anymore. Then I got on the bus to Newala, rambling down the dirt track, the road practically covered with grasses twice as high as I am tall. I could just barely see the mud huts with their grass roofs, through the grass, quitely sitting there under the mango or cashew nut trees, waiting for or someone else to walk by to create the news of the day. Obviously, the ride was very nostalgic for me, but while sometimes I would love to place myself back in that environment, I would go crazy doing if forever. Those of us that come here for a few years at a time really have no clue as to how lucky we are that no matter how much we integrate, adapt and try to understand this way of life, it will never be our own as we always have the safety line/net attached - we can leave it all and go home whenever we decide. We can forget it all completely if we want - "Peace Corps is something I did for a few years in my 20's" and that's it. I really hope I don't forget and manage to let loose of the reins a little bit and let if shape and mold at the very least parts of my life. I'm sure it will, because at least I'm conscious of that danger even now - but I WONDER about other people. I don't know how anyone could forget, but I am afraid that too many do...............Just reread that - YES - this has been a very nostalgic week for me indeed!!!!!!!!!!!!

That being said......... I am enjoying my new life in Mtwara more and more. I travel a lot though. I am lucky if I am home two weeks out of the month. I enjoy the travelling - I get to see other volunteers all of the time, but I do miss that sense of community I had in the village.........People are starting to recognize me as belonging though and I tend to shop/eat/socialize at the same places, which really helps to build relationships. I think that living in the village before and knowing the language a bit really helps though. I have no problem putting myself out there and introducing myself. I feel, for the new volunteers living in cities like Mtwara though - without that village experience first it's tough. Even being the veteran, it's tough sometimes....................

My work with FEMINA/ HIP(Magazine)product involves me being extremely self-motivated to put myself out there and well, I don't always want to do it. When I do though, and manage to meet with people, make agreements or solve some issues or another, it's extremely self gratifying............Definitely, the FEMINA work is something that contributes each day to all I am learning this year............

Because I travel so much I don't feel I am able to spend as much time on the FEMINA - HIP project as I would like.........It will be interesting to see what happens in the next seven months or so.. I am afraid that I'll end up spending all of this time on a project, never to see it functioning without my help (or inference depending on how one wants to look at it)......

The weeks before going to Newala were kept crazily busy by PEPFAR conferences and in just a few week time, I start my really long haul away from Mtwara ( about 6 weeks or so!)

First with a vacation to UGANDA with a friend from Dunsmuir High School, my friend, Chris Bowman. Look forward to his arrival and news!!!!!!

NEXT IST for Education and PST a new group of Health Volunteers coming in June. I'm sure that it will be exciting and fun and tiring all at the same time !!!!!!!!

Love to you all, Jessica..............