Letter 24, August 10th, 2004 - Staying for a third year!

Dear Fam,

So I'm sitting here, writing to you by candle light, as I listen to the yelling of voices of my girls as they try to find their way from the classrooms to the dormitories in the dark; the power's just gone out. This is a rare these days, as it usually occurs more in the rainy season, so there's more for the girls to scream about. Half of them are probably screaming with joy as no power = no studying and an early night to bed, while the other half is yelling with frustration as they count the hours lost and the number of days/weeks left until the National Exams. Actually both of those feelings are probably in every girl, it's just the luck of the draw as to which one will come out tonight.

It's hard to believe nearly a month has already gone by since I came back to site. Things were slow to start, but now I find myself having a hard time finding much if anytime for "me". I'm making myself take it this weekend though. Teaching is awesome. My girls are continuing to make me smile and a good portion of them amaze me with their levels of motivation. Hardly a day seems to go by when I don't get some type of extra work placed in my hands to be marked so the student can make corrections. I really hope their efforts are well rewarded when they take their exams.

One of the biggest frustrations (among many) of this exam-based system to move onto the next level is that there is virtually no way to reward students for extra-participation, drastic improvement, etc. Of course, one could argue that you can "see" that effort in a good exam score, but I disagree. To me, the B that was achieved by the student who put in extra hours is worth much more than the B achieved by the students who could have got an A with just a little effort. It would be nice if there was a way to recognize that here, but there isn't, at least not anyway that really means something to the average Tanzanian. They're taught from the beginning that exam scores are everything and I guess, at least in terms of opportunities for a better life for these girls, it's true.

Teaching health stuff at the primary schools is going well. Those kids are so interested in everything I have to say - or so it seems. (Perhaps they're just trying to concentrate on understanding my Kiswahili). I'm also super busy with my Peer Leader Group. They are heading off to a nearby secondary school to teach life skills on the 21st. Hopefully, it will all turn out well, but they are making me nervous as to their preparation level; they haven't been super -motivated with their activities in the past weeks.

The other exciting news is that it's pretty much official that I will be here next year as PCVL for Mtwara region. The Country Director called me on Saturday and said "everything looked good" for me to fill the post. PC is supposed to send me something written in the mail at the end of the month and will be looking for a house in Mtwara town at the end of the month. So everyone can now celebrate the fact that I will have regular access to phone and email starting in January.

Related to staying here a third year, I nearly broke-down crying the other day after an awesome day of teaching at the thought of leaving my girls in December. For about twenty minutes I convinced myself that really, I'd rather stay in Ndwika and teach for one more year. Reality quickly set in though and I am looking forward to my new post while aiming to make this term the best one of my service. Reflecting on that though is a huge reminder of all the different emotions one goes through here daily. It's no wonder that I get tired - but I love every minute of it in its own way! That being said, I'm got to take advantage of the lack of electricity and go to bed early -

Lots of love to you all!

Jessica