Blonde Jokes

  1. How can you tell when a blonde has been using your computer? By the white out on the screen.
  2. Why does a blonde prefer a BMW over a Chevrolet? She can spell BMW.
  3. How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
  4. How does a blonde give herself a high five? She smacks herself in the forehead.
  5. How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.
  6. What do you get with four blondes at a 4-way stop? Eternity.
  7. A dumb blonde, a smart blonde and Santa Claus were walking down the street, they spot a $100 bill. Who would pick it up? The dumb blonde; the other two characters are fictitious.
  8. What do you call a blonde with a pea-sized brain? Lucky.
  9. Why don't they let blondes take coffee breaks? It takes too long to retrain them.
  10. How does a blonde drive through a flashing red light? Vroom. Scheech! Vroom. Scheech! Vroom. Scheech!
  11. How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No one knows, its never been done before.
  12. What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar.
  13. Did you hear about the blonde who learned the capitals of the states so she wouldn't seem like a "dumb blonde?" When challenged with the capital of Washington she replied "W"
  14. Did you hear about the two blondes who wanted to go to Disney World? They got in their car and drove and drove, until finally, they saw a sign that said "Disney World Left". So they turned around and went home!
  15. What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown? Artificial intellegence.
  16. How did the blonde braincell die? ALONE!
  17. How do you keep a blonde busy? Write "Please turn over" on both sides of a peice of paper.
  18. Why did the blonde bake a chicken for three and a half days? It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.
  19. Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? She heard that the drinks were on the house.
  20. What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? She turned it over and used the other side.
  21. How can you tell when a fax had been sent from a blonde? There is a stamp on it.
  22. Why do all blondes have a dimple in their chin and a flat forehead? Finger on chin-"I don't know". Hits forehead-"Oh I get it!"
  23. BLONDE #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?" BLONDE #2: "No, who wrote it?"
  24. What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? Trying to hold to a thought.
  25. What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
  26. How does a blond kill a fish? She drowns it.
  27. How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff on the bottom of the bath tub.
  28. Why don't blondes like to eat pickles? Their heads get stuck in the jar.
  29. What do you call 20 blondes in a circle? A dope ring.
  30. What do you call a group of blondes in a freezer? Frosted flakes.
  31. Why did the blonde climb over the chain link fence? To see what was on the other side.
  32. What do you call 12 blondes standing side by side? A wind tunnel.
  33. What is the difference between a smart blonde and a Big-foot? Big-foot has been sighted!
  34. Why don't blondes like to make Kool-aid? They can't fit two quarts of water in the little package.
  35. How do you totally confuse a blonde? Give her a bag of M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.
  36. Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink? That's where you wash vegitables.
  37. Why does a blonde have T.G.I.F. printed on her shoes? Toes Go In First.
  38. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
  39. What do you do when a blonde terrorist throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.
  40. How do you get a blondes eye to sparkle? Shine a flashlight in her ear.
  41. What's the advantage of being married to a blonde? You can park in the handicap zone.
  42. How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday? Tell her a joke on Friday.
  43. What do you call a brunette between two blondes? An interpreter.
  44. If a blonde and a brunette both jumped off a building at the same time, who would land first? The brunette; the blonde would have to stop and ask directions.
  45. What did the blonde call her Zebra? Spot.

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