Blonde Jokes
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How can you tell when a blonde has been using your computer? By the white out
on the screen.
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Why does a blonde prefer a BMW over a Chevrolet? She can spell BMW.
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How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
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How does a blonde give herself a high five? She smacks herself in the forehead.
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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.
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What do you get with four blondes at a 4-way stop? Eternity.
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A dumb blonde, a smart blonde and Santa Claus were walking down the street,
they spot a $100 bill. Who would pick it up? The dumb blonde; the other two
characters are fictitious.
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What do you call a blonde with a pea-sized brain? Lucky.
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Why don't they let blondes take coffee breaks? It takes too long to retrain
them.
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How does a blonde drive through a flashing red light? Vroom. Scheech! Vroom.
Scheech! Vroom. Scheech!
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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No one knows, its never
been done before.
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What do you call a basement full of blondes? A whine cellar.
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Did you hear about the blonde who learned the capitals of the states so she
wouldn't seem like a "dumb blonde?" When challenged with the capital of
Washington she replied "W"
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Did you hear about the two blondes who wanted to go to Disney World? They got
in their car and drove and drove, until finally, they saw a sign that said
"Disney World Left". So they turned around and went home!
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What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown? Artificial intellegence.
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How did the blonde braincell die? ALONE!
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How do you keep a blonde busy? Write "Please turn over" on both sides of a
peice of paper.
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Why did the blonde bake a chicken for three and a half days? It said cook it
for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.
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Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar? She heard that the drinks
were on the house.
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What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the
overhead transparency? She turned it over and used the other side.
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How can you tell when a fax had been sent from a blonde? There is a stamp on it.
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Why do all blondes have a dimple in their chin and a flat forehead? Finger on
chin-"I don't know". Hits forehead-"Oh I get it!"
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BLONDE #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?" BLONDE #2: "No, who wrote it?"
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What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? Trying
to hold to a thought.
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What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? Run....she's got a hand
grenade in her mouth.
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How does a blond kill a fish? She drowns it.
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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff on the bottom of the bath
tub.
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Why don't blondes like to eat pickles? Their heads get stuck in the jar.
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What do you call 20 blondes in a circle? A dope ring.
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What do you call a group of blondes in a freezer? Frosted flakes.
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Why did the blonde climb over the chain link fence? To see what was on the
other side.
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What do you call 12 blondes standing side by side? A wind tunnel.
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What is the difference between a smart blonde and a Big-foot? Big-foot has been
sighted!
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Why don't blondes like to make Kool-aid? They can't fit two quarts of water in
the little package.
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How do you totally confuse a blonde? Give her a bag of M&M's and tell her to
put them in alphabetical order.
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Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen sink? That's where you wash
vegitables.
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Why does a blonde have T.G.I.F. printed on her shoes? Toes Go In First.
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What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They're both empty from the
neck up.
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What do you do when a blonde terrorist throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin
and throw it back.
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How do you get a blondes eye to sparkle? Shine a flashlight in her ear.
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What's the advantage of being married to a blonde? You can park in the handicap
zone.
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How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday? Tell her a joke on Friday.
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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? An interpreter.
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If a blonde and a brunette both jumped off a building at the same time, who
would land first? The brunette; the blonde would have to stop and ask
directions.
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What did the blonde call her Zebra? Spot.
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