Who Needs A Boyfriend Anyway?

So who needs a boyfriend anyway?
That's not the conclusion I came to today.
It's not so bad being just one
Actually, it can be quite fun.
Hanging out at the mall all day,
Appreciating your friends in a new special way.
Never having to worry about him,
Whether he be Aaron, Chris, Michael or Jim.
Which movie to rent on Saturday night
Is no longer an issue that ends in a fight.
Going where you want, seeing who you please
Even though you miss having someone to tease.
Three-hour phone calls about nothing at all
Becoming three-hour shopping trips with
Mom at the mall.
You see more of your little sister now, too,
Being surprised at how much she grew.
But please, I ask, don't shed a tear.
I know that your heart must be filled with fear.
Being alone can be rough at first
But it only gets better, it doesn't get worse.
Soon enough you'll love once more
But for now, it's yourself you should adore.
Look at every day with a new brighter light
And I'm sure, like me, in time you'll be all right.


Identical Friends

Here is a tale
of the trouble love sends,
To pair of inseparable
very best friends.

These very best friends
had the same taste in boys,
Just like as tots when
they liked the same toys.

They never did struggle
to borrow or lend,
They knew that sharing
was being a friend.

One defending the other
when teased or called names,
One choosing the other
when teamed up for games.

They were experts at sharing
fears, sorrows, and joys,
And their bond was rock solid
till they cared about boys.

It turned out they out they always 
liked the very same boy,
But this would be different
from sharing a toy.

Will their friendship survive
their concerns of the heart?
Or will their love for one guy
tear their friendship apart?

It is yet to be known
how this sad story ends,
For they must choose
between guys or best friends.

They can ditch all they have
for the love of one guy ,
Or hold on to their friendship
and wave him good-bye.



Alone

I didn't want to admit it,
It was easier to lie,
And hide the hurt and emptiness,
To smile instead of cry.
I didn't want to face the fact,
My life is full of pain,
And I long to stop my bleeding hurt,
And maybe smile again.
"Cause I feel oh-so-forgotten,
So betrayed and so alone,
Without a trace of forgiveness,
And no soul to call my own.
I didn't want to admit the fact,
I cannot spread my wings,
And my happiness has melted,
Into tears and other things.
It's hard for me to hide the fact,
My wishes have no home,
And return to anguish,
Bow my head and cry alone.


Stone by Stone

I have a wall you cannot see
Because it's deep inside of me.
It blocks my heart on every side
And helps my emotions there to hide.
You can't reach in,
I can't reach out,
You wonder what it's all about.

The wall I built that you can't see
Results from insecurity.
Each time my tender heart was hurt
The scars within grew worse and worse.
So stone by stone,
I built a wall,
That's now so thick it will not fall.

Please understand that it's not you-
Continue trying to break through.
I want so much to show myself
And love from you will really help.
So bit by bit,
Chip at my wall,
Till stone by stone it starts to fall.

I know the process will be slow-
It's never easy to let go
Of hurts and failures long ingrained,
Upon one's heart from years of pain.
I'm so afraid
To let you in;
I know I might get hurt again.

I try so hard to break the wall,
But seem to get nowhere at all.
For stone upon each stone I've stacked,
And left between them not a crack.
The only way
To make it fall is imperfections in the wall.

I did the best I could to build
A perfect wall, but there are still
A few small flaws, which are the key
To breaking though the wall to me.
Please use each flaw
To cause a crack
To knock a stone off of the stack.

For just as stone by stone was laid
With every hurt and every pain,
So stone by stone the wall will break
As love replaces every ache.
Please be the one
Who cares enough
To find the flaws, no matter what.


e-mail Ashley